Faithless

I have this story, I have this dream,
The heat is intense, the cold is extreme,
My thoughts attack me, and I choose to scream,
Everyone hears me, yet none listen so it would seem.

People are everywhere, why do I feel so alone?
Can I not go back? back to the walls of my own home?
Do I stay here? and dismiss all the doors I've been shown?
How has this writer come to know what I keep to be unknown?

I feel my grip loosening, and slipping away,
My hands let go to the count of each passing day,
I want to cross... I know I could never stay,
I shall await my nemesis... as I follow my prey.

One thing, that I will try to never miss,
Is being near you, and your painful bliss,
Counting my heartbeats, every time we hold and kiss,
Hopelessly remembering you, as I dwell and reminisce.

Think of me not as lost and misguided,
But as two meanings interchanged and collided,
As an emotion torn apart and relentlessly divided,
For I have chosen myself, and I have willingly subsided.